Sleepover fun

Tonight my friend Jessica hosted our playgroup mock sleepover. We headed over for pizza with healthy sides of fruit and veggies and while the kids ran around and played, we had some meaningful adult conversation. The men stayed in the kitchen while us girls went upstairs to "supervise" the children. It was a really great time that included a popcorn snack, kids snuggled up on the couch listening to bedtime stories and culminated with magical glow wands in a dark room. These times are the ones that I hope my children keep in their memories. This is childhood and I am so blessed to have opportunities like these to share with my boys.

Snow Day Princess Movie

It is a snowy Saturday again and in spite of that, I took Cole to see a movie and out to lunch, then we ran a few errands. We went to see The Princess and the Frog. It was cute. I was glad to hear southern accents from the "princess" who was also African American. Over the years, the pattern for princesses in Disney flicks were pretty much the same. Girl loses mother, girl has conflict with evil step-mother/caregiver/witch, girl is damsel in distress, enter Prince whats-his-name on a galloping steed to save the day, get the girl (usually by kissing her) and "they all lived happily ever after". All beautiful, white girls who end up wealthy and in love - in a beautiful flowing dress, nonetheless.
This particular princess was actually not a princess at all but rather the daughter of poor black parents living in a small shack outside of New Orleans, LA. The father is the one who kicks the bucket - it is implied that he died in military service. The mother supports the dream of the waitress daughter to open a restaurant which had been her father's dream. There is some heavy wishing on a star but the father gives the advice that you can't just wish on a star, you have to work hard too. Good advice.
The girl ends up meeting a prince who had been changed to a frog by a voodoo doctor because the voodoo doctor was greedy and had a plan to extort money from the wealthy family in NOLA. Circumstances lead her to kiss him and then she turns into a frog herself. Hilarity ensues and they meet up with a firefly and an alligator who help them through their quest to become human again. Not to completely give away the ending, they eventually discover what is important and they accept their fate, with the girl to ultimately be the heroine of sorts and finally everyone was set up for a happily ever after.
I liked this story and am glad that there is more diversity in Disney Princesses now. Not only do we have Mulan, we have Tiana. Poor Disney - and I say that with my tongue-in-cheek because they are by no stretch poor - has been in a storm of controversy since this project was announced. In the category of you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, I am glad that they did it and hope that the lasting legacy of Princess Tiana is that more little girls can go into a Disney Store and relate to a princess featured there. I was always a Snow White girl myself.

Warning: Bragging Mother Alert!

Today was the parent/teacher conference with Cole's preschool teacher. Ms. Connie is the very best and we love her very much...I can say this with certainty because she is the only preschool teacher we have ever had an experience with. You know, we have that sort of track record that we can, indeed, crown her as "The Best".

Anyway, she directed Cole and Rhys to the toy area and we sat down to talk. She had a score sheet, of sorts, with check marks next to a long list of items. The sort of things that they score them on are behavior and socialization, gross motor skills, fine motor skills, writing his name, cutting, etc. He is meeting and exceeding his level in all areas except for the fine motor skills which is fine with us. He will catch up with pencil control and scissor grip.

Ms. Connie told us that he is at the point already that he has mastered the 3-year old program...wahoo! Not that we were afraid that he would be behind going into the 4 year old preschool program, but it is nice to know that he already recognizes all of his upper case and lower case letters, can count to 10 without any trouble, and can draw a really great face, nose and all.

Bravo, Cole...now if we could just get you to stop talking during Circle Time and you will be golden.

Must go to gym

Since we have been sick, I haven't been to the gym in what seems like forever. I can't take the boys to kids club when they are sick so even when I am well, the gym gets no visit from me. I am planning on going to the gym at some point today. I really must go. I only HOPE that it will help improve my general attitude. Somethings gotta give. I think I am just tired of winter and tired of being sick and stuck at home. Cole is wheezing again with a chesty cough. If I don't go today, I doubt I will get out tomorrow.

Can I get a time-out?

Discipline with Cole seems to be a cycle that we go through. It seems like we can be really strict, consistent, and reliable in our discipline process. We use a version of 1-2-3 Magic with him because it really does work. Unfortunately, for him really, we get lax and let the odd back-talk slip through. We ignore it when he gets out of bed when he isn't supposed to, etc. He realizes that he can get away with things and it starts to get out of hand and then we have to reign him in. When we start this process, he realizes that he can get attention from being naughty and he does even more naughty things. Then we have to remind ourselves to be swift with our punishments and not give any additional attention to the issue.

Once again, we find ourselves in the part of the cycle where we have to reign him in. This is my least favorite time. This morning I started fresh and, though I prepared him for it last night, he has spent a lot of time in time-out. I do hope that he catches on and this doesn't go on for very long. I am sure that it is hard for him to realize why we call him down so often. Believe me, it isn't something that I enjoy doing but I won't stand for his disrespectful back-talk and his complete disregard for our direction and requests...phew. I guess no one ever said it would be easy.

You can't have a weak constitution

So, I found myself with a box cutter blade within millimeters of Rhys' wrist today in the checkout line of Trader Joe's because he had tightened the knot of a balloon string around it to the point that his hand was turning purple. The man at the checkout didn't have scissors, only the box cutter. The TJ Associate squinted his eyes and bit his bottom lip as he couldn't look away while I went to work cutting away the string. I told him that he probably thought that I was crazy...he was silent. I then told him that it was okay to tell me if he thought that I was crazy...still silent. Finally, I successfully relieved said boy from said balloon and I looked at the man, who was still not so sure about what he had just witnessed and said, "You can't be the mother of two boys and have a weak constitution." I paid for my groceries and thanked him for his "help".

Getting a good attitude about...FOOD

So, I thoroughly have enjoyed working my way through some recent back issues of People Magazine lately and am drawing some inspiration from the stories. I also am going to start a to-do reading list since book suggestions have to come from somewhere. Finally, I am gaining some self confidence because I am pretty good at the crossword puzzle and the spot the difference photos. It is sort of like Highlights for adults and I am digging it.

Among the latest issues was a story about Alanis Morissette. A couple of years ago, she had an indulgent tour and packed on the pounds. She had been long suffering from eating disorders and only in the past year has turned her life around by changing her attitude about food. I think that I change my attitude about food every month or so. As a southern girl, food is for the soul and the body. My job is to make sure that I am not feeding my soul with food that is not so great for my body more than I am fueling my body with food that doesn't always warm my soul. It is hard to tackle this concept in the winter when heavy stews, hot chocolate, and warm baked goods are the things that warm my soul.

SO, here is the way I am thinking of it at the minute (incidentally, I have been pretty successful over the last 72 hours or so; therefore, this is probably going to last): I am loading up the dishes that warm my soul with the food items that fuel my body. It is a pretty simple concept. I made fried rice and cut out most of the fat and sodium and doubled up on the veggies. I froze some old bananas and blended them with a little soy milk and chocolate chips - Cole called it a banana split but it was more like a banana blizzard. I keep my snacking hands busy peeling an orange when the mood strikes me and I am back to chewing gum when I just must have *something*. I am also drinking more ice water and cutting back on the carbs.

Now, I know what food I need to eat, I know how to cook those foods, and I know what foods that I should avoid. It is just a matter of reminding myself of why I am craving certain foods and what my best approach in addressing those cravings is. Many times this week, I have reached for a sugar-laden convenience food and asked myself how it will fuel my body. It stopped me every time. Two thumbs up for the girl with her hand in her pocket from the girl with her hand in the fridge.

I am NOT political

I am helping my friend with a political fundraiser. He, Jeremiah Chiappelli, is actually the husband of a friend and a friend by proxy. Anyway, he is running for Delegate of District 31 in Maryland and is a Democrat. My tendencies are more Democrat than Republican, if I had to say, but I am open minded and think more about the state of the world at the minute and listen to what the candidates plan to do. I say, "plan" because political promises are like pie crust promises (as Mary Poppins says, "Easily made, easily broken").
I am helping Jeremiah because he is a good man and his plans seem to follow my vision of how things would work best in our community. He is also my friend and I have a skill set that he and his wife needed to plan a fundraiser. Anyway, we are currently at the point in the game plan that requires us to get people to buy tickets and donate prizes for the silent auction. To say that I am tempted to buy items for the auction is an indication of how much I loathe asking people to give to a political campaign. People who are in politics are built differently than me. Yesterday, I was trapped in a 15 minute one-sided conversation with a strong-opinioned Republican who believes that all of the evil that happens in the world is a direct result of Democrats. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad but he blamed the Democrats for putting all of his neighboring businesses out of business. Umm, do you think it could be the recession that the country was already headed toward before we had a Democratic President? I don't want to get into it here but I don't think the fault of world happenings is the fault of one party or the other.
Things happen because PEOPLE, (who have been elected by US) put into motion, plans that they BELIEVE will be what is best for...whomever. Maybe they do it because someone gave them lots of pretty things and they feel obligated to do what the pretty-things-people want. Maybe they do it because they have a lot of wealthy friends and they themselves are wealthy and they want to make them happy and be happy and still wealthy. Maybe still, they grew up poor and want to do something for that sector. Finally, maybe; just maybe, they are doing it because they really think that their actions are building a better world for our children - enter Jeremiah Chiappelli. Either way, there is a limited term for many of the political offices to prevent one persons' views (and friends) to influence things beyond the point of no return.
There are cycles and ebbs and flows. We can't always have a bull market just as we won't always have a bear market. Taxes will always go up as spending does. This particular shop owner believed that the spending needs to be curbed. Who can disagree with that? When your budget gets tight, you don't start by getting another job, you start by cutting the fat around your house - at least that is what is recommended. You get rid of a cell phone, cable tv, the dog skips the groomers and you bathe her yourself, etc.
I am glad that I don't have to work on these things for the general public. I always avoided the job of payroll after my first experience resulted in near-weekly threats and disgruntled employees...that is a story for another time. When you are in a position to mess with people's money, you might as well be prepared to piss some folks off. The fuller our wallets are, the happier we are and the more we "approve" of our elected officials. Sadly, it takes a lot longer to see the results of budget changes in the world of the government than it does in our own house. It is also a lot easier to tell a teenager that they don't have a cell phone than it is to tell a government official that they have lost their funding...talk about kicking and screaming!
At any rate, I know the title of this is, "I am NOT political". I also know that the message itself sounds much like I am political. The truth is, I know how impossible it is to please the masses and I know how hard it is to change minds and attitudes. I don't want to try to do either and; therefore, I am NOT cut out for this...

Julie and Julia

I am sick in bed - again - and Chris took the day off work to watch after the boys so I could rest. BLESS HIM! He went out and picked up a couple of requested DVDs and I just watched Julie and Julia, the movie about a 30 year old woman who had lost her mo-jo and decided to cook her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking cookbook and blog about it. She gave herself a deadline of one year and there were over 500 recipes to get through. It was somewhat inspiring and it reignited my love for my blog. I do want to do "something". I don't know what it may be but it surely isn't going to be something that will deplete the grocery budget, demand so much time in the kitchen, or further threaten my waiste line. I guess everyone finds their inspiration from something, perhaps mine will be a physical makeover that I can finally finish. I really would love to lose that last 15.

Early Intervention

We had our parent interview with the speech pathologist with the MD Infants and Toddler's program on Friday morning at 7:30am. Yes, it was early but I was really glad that Chris could be here and hear everything that she said, help answer the questions, ask his own questions, and experience the process instead of hearing about it from me. She was here for an hour and said that it was right for us to have called because her initial impression is that Rhys is delayed by at least 25% in his verbal communication. He has his evaluation next Thursday morning at 8:00am and Cole will be breakfasting and riding to school with a friend that day (shout out to Lawrie - THANKS!) so Chris will be able to participate in that part of the process too. After that, we will have a speech therapist come to our house to give us instruction on how to help him regularly and they will have therapy sessions with him as well. Before long, we will be asking him to be quiet!

Seeing past the end of my nose

When Mr. Banks stood up to his boss, he accused him of not being able to see past the end of his nose. I appreciate that sentiment since I sometimes fall into the trap of forgetting that there is a wide world outside of my own that is far more important than little old me. I am trying not to be wrapped up with my own life so much these days and reflect more on my place among all of the other people in the world. I have been trying to explain to Cole about where the sun goes when it isn't shining here and today I said, "The sun doesn't always shine on us." Immediately I saw the bigger meaning in the statement and I am happy to say that presently, the sun is shining on me - figuratively speaking. I am painfully aware that there will be days in my life that are bleak and it will be important for me to realize at those times that the sun will be shining on me again.
Right now, I am prayerful and concerned for those in Haiti who have lost family, homes, lives, and livelihoods in the devastating earthquake. Surely things are bleak for them. I also think of my friends, Dave and Lisa and their baby, Bodie, who are starting to see the light at the end of their tunnel. Bodie's surgery was successful and he is currently recovering in the NICU. On the other end of the spectrum, I am reading passed-along copies of People magazine (shout out to Heather - thanks!) and gaze upon the glitz and glamour of the high society folks and sometimes envy the good fortune and great fortune in their lives. It is a departure from my reality and the only thing that I am envious of are their bodies - obviously - and their money. Otherwise, I couldn't imagine a different life where I would be more content or happy.
I can certainly live without the money, I have all of my life so there is nothing new there. I can even live without their perfectly toned bodies. The paparazzi aren't following me around anyway. So, right now, I am really happy. The Beatles had it right - All you need is love. The sun is truly shining in my life and I will enjoy it as long as it continues to shine. I only hope that those who are seeing only cloudy skies have their day in the sun again soon.

walking a mile

I have a friend who is spending today, along with countless others all over the world, fasting and praying for successful open heart surgery on her newborn baby that will take place tomorrow. Their faith is so strong and, although she and her husband practice different religions (she is Mormon and he is Catholic) they attend mass and church every week and have friends, family, and loved ones of different nationalities and religious beliefs praying for their son all over the world. She is maintaining a blog to help keep everyone informed and she made an entry that included some of the places where his name has been included for prayer and I was moved by the sheer number of people who are thinking of this family during this very stressful time. They are feeling the love and strength and faith of everyone around them. I can only imagine the warmth that they get from that experience but I can also imagine the terror of the what-if and worst case scenario that could potentially play out for them tomorrow. I have no desire to walk a mile in their shoes but having two children of my own, I can easily imagine their pain, stress, and worry. I will be adding myself to the list of people praying for Bodie Piantanida throughout the day today and all day tomorrow. Bodie, Lisa, and David...my prayers are with you too.

A wobbly start

As per the trend, I am doing a really rotten job of jump starting 2010. Rhys doesn't recognize a calendar and thinks that it is already okay for him to act like a terrible two year old. I really thought we would have a few more months. Unfortunately for me, he has a strong will and a mind of his own. As a pillar of society and a corporate mogul, these skills will be priceless. As a toddler, they are just a pain in his mommy's neck. This paired with the endless questions and expectations from Cole make for a challenge in every simple task. We were all ready to go this morning to have some fun with friends at a skating rink where toddlers are welcome to ride their own cars and push toys around for $3. We got all ready to head out the door, coats and all, when I realized that Chris had my car key.
Overreaction is a word I would use to explain how I behaved immediately after learning this. I probably had what can be described as an adult temper tantrum. I shouted on the phone into Chris' ear. I was mad at the situation and frustrated with being stranded and disappointed and frustrated again when I had to explain this to Cole and disappoint him. We decided to take a stroll and roll up our street in spite of the 22 degree temperature. I was hot enough for all of us, I think. While the children toddled and played in the yard, I packed away the outdoor Christmas decorations and then packed away all of the remaining bobbles and garland that had landed in the dining room.
I really want to tackle the cupboards, closets, and cabinets this week tossing out surplus and outdated items. I will feel less cluttered and more organized if I know what I have and what we need. I expect to donate and toss a lot of things. I don't think I will consign much. I just am not sure I want to deal with it. I do know that I can start holding on to some baby things for my neice or nephew in utero. I am excited about knowing where our used things are going and that I will help contribute to their stash of baby things given that they thought they were done.
SO, Cole is back to school tomorrow and I believe I will focus on the dining room while he is away for a few hours (after the gym, of course). I believe I will rearrange things a bit and clear out some. Hopefully I can take on one room at a time and get through it all by the end of the week. Once the house is clear and clean, I will have a much better outlook on things.

New Decade Musings

I wanted to give 2010 a huge jump-start by establishing some resolutions and making some subtle but positive changes in my life and general outlook. I felt a little derailed because any diet or fitness commitments had to wait until I got back from SC. It just was too much to expect my extended family to watch the boys while I braved frigid temperatures to exercise - which I wasn't exactly jazzed to do - and I wasn't going to buy special food for myself or ask menu changes to be made to reflect my newly adopted diet lifestyle.
So, here I am on the 10th of the month having just returned from the gym to make up for the beers that I am about to drink while I sit on the couch and watch football. Surprisingly, less tv and less beer are also on the list for the new year. I expect this all is going to shake out after we do get back into a routine. Right now, the house is a mess - holiday decorations and empty boxes are still laying about and who can start on the new year when we are still cleaning up from the last one?
Anyway, I do plan on simplifying things and regaining control of other things. The bottom line is to trim the fat - on myself and in my wallet, clear out excess crap from my home, and use my talents and resources to bring more income into the house.

Best moment lately: Saying this will make all sympathy for me disappear but I have to give credit to my two little men and dog. Yesterday, I pulled them from warm beds at 4am to drive 8 hours and only stop once. They didn't complain, they sat, watched a DVD, ate snacks, and waited patiently for the car to ultimately land at home where Daddy was waiting and ready to empty the car, manage the crazy children and dog. We had a great trip and now I am getting geared up to manage what will be a wildly successful fundraiser, and embark on my own journey into the 20-teens. Let's roll!