Get the funk out

Well, I am fully back on my medication. I tried to go without it but found that I was losing control. Small irritations would become intolerable and I would feel actual rage building inside me. That is NO GOOD when I am dealing with a 3 year old and a 10 month old. Anyway, it has taken the two weeks to get back into my system so over the past week, I have been a hermit. I have suffered under a self-imposed restriction and after a brief outing on Monday, I haven't left the neighborhood all week - until last night. I have told Chris all week that I am in a funk. Last night he suggested that we go out to eat and it was really the cure for me.
I realized that, partly because of my emotional state, and partly because I really just haven't felt like taking the risk, I am fearful of taking the boys out alone because of what happened last week (the peeing, bleeding, etc.) I just prefer to stay at home. Also, this week, Rhys has been teething something rotten and has been clinging to me like crazy. All of the clinging was wearing me down and I wasn't getting anything done - nor did I really have the motivation to do anything - so I was drowning in the angst and tension that I had created under this roof.
Every night I would set out my workout clothes for the following morning and every morning, I would kick them into the floor in favor of another 20 minutes of sleep.
I am pleased to report that I was out this morning and walked for a mile and a half. I feel like I turned a corner because I also completed a project that has been lingering for over 2 months...sorry, Kate. Also, thank you, Kate, for giving my day purpose and allowing me to produce something other than a pile of dirty laundry.

The bad and the ugly

I took the boys out this morning on a seemingly innocent trip to Target for Cole to pick out a new toy with his gift card and birthday money. Cole quickly picked out a couple of things that he "had to have" and I proceeded to shop for gifts for some of his friends who have birthdays coming up. I got him set up to play a leapster game and turned around to look at some board games when he said, "I am peeing!" Now, this is the second time he has done this in two weeks and this time, I struggled to keep it together. I put him into the shopping cart and quickly found replacement pants, underwear, and socks. We made our purchases and I unloaded our merchandise and the baby from the cart and took ALL into the bathroom and changed Cole while wrestling to keep Rhys on his floppy seat and off of the bathroom floor. We made it out of the store...all clean and dry and headed to a brunch play date.
We were a little early for the play date but that was okay. Cole played with the host children and then as other children arrived, he played with them and we moved upstairs to the dining room. I still had my coat on and was just getting settled when Cole came running and screaming up the hall with a mouthful of blood. He had bitten his lip and was bleeding profusely. I had drops of blood all over my coat and jeans. We gave him Motrin and ice and a Popsicle and once the bleeding stopped, he was ready to play again. My friend Kim was holding Rhys and once Cole was back in fighting form, I took Rhys. He wrapped his legs around my side and immediately peed - through his diaper - onto my shirt. I was beside myself. I changed his diaper and just let his pants dry.
We had a lovely visit and after about an hour and a half, I decided it was time to go because Rhys was getting tired and I was ready to get out of my blood and urine soaked clothes. I put Rhys' jeans back on him and picked him up...same stance...same result. He peed AGAIN on ME!!! My almost dry spot was soiled again. Honestly, at this point a CSI black light would have illuminated me!
I got Cole and Rhys into the car and we headed home. We were almost there when Cole started screaming and kicking his feet. He had poked himself in the eye with his finger. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. His eye got really swollen and is finally clearing up. The poor kid really had a rough day and as a result, so did I. PHEW!

Cole Turns 3

We had a party for Cole on the evening of his birthday even though his birthday was on a Wednesday. We invited a VERY small number of his friends (5, to be exact) and had dinner for the parents and the kiddos. It was all finger foods but pretty yummy. After the kids ate, we let them play for a few minutes while we cleaned up and got the table ready for cake decorating. I baked a vanilla and chocolate cake in a pan shaped like train cars. I bought candy and icing for the kids to use to decorate their own car and then we put the train together and took pictures. Everyone had a great time and I was exhausted after the day. Cole unwrapped presents all day and keeps asking to open another one....Happy Birthday, little man.

One of the fun ones

I don't know about the general readers of my blog but my favorite entries are the ones that are full of the things that the boys are doing and saying (as it pertains to Cole as Rhys still says abba dabba abba babba). Here are some quips.

In the pee pee tee pee:
Cole is still doing really well with potty training - although he thinks that when he is done there will actually be a train to ride (potty training)...how do you truly explain the nuances of the English language to a 2 year old?

Yesterday, he had a milestone: He peed in the woods. We got to my friend's house for a play date before she got home and he needed to pee. I told him that it is okay to pee outside when mommy says so. He looked at me and said, "Mom, it is NOT okay." I laughed and when he finally felt it was absolutely necessary to go RIGHT NOW, he said, "I think I can pee outside, mom". I took him over to an isolated area near the treeline and told him to wet the leaves. He did a great job and Rhys was fascinated. He didn't get any on anything but the ground.

Today, unfortunately, he did have an accident and I don't want to dwell on it but I can just say that it involved a puddle in a friend's living room and the subsequent borrowing of clothes for Cole. Thank goodness for good friends who have seen it and experienced it all.

Last night, Cole was on the potty - stalling before bedtime. I monitored his progress from the door and as he sat there, he looked up at me very nonchalant said, "Those are some cool pajamas you got there." - no comment

Bedtime stories:
We struggle to keep Cole in bed at night. My theory is that he just wants to hang out with Chris and I but either way, bedtime is bedtime and we don't budge.

A few nights ago, Chris told Cole that it was time to go to sleep and asked him if he was going to stay in bed and Cole said, "No". Chris asked, "No?" Cole responded, "I'm probably going to get out of bed."

I have taken to making up stories for Cole and he really enjoys them but has started demanding a story and giving us the characters and plot lines. Chris was putting him to bed and managed to get Cole to tell the story by asking him questions. The basic story went like this: Cole was riding a tractor around the farm, planting corn and weeds. He also fed the cows corn and gave the pigs mud.

Cruisin' for a Bruisin'
My mother always said that we were cruisin' for a bruisin' or aching for a breaking when we did something mildly amusing but naughty. In this instance, I am using the title to describe Rhys' mobility at the minute.

Rhys is cruising around the furniture and any object he can latch on to. As a result of Cole's obsession with all things on wheels, we have a lot of ride on toys and big things on wheels in our basement.

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of our hospitality, we have a large basement living space that is divided into three separate areas. The carpeted areas include an alcove play area where all of the toys and the play kitchen live, and a central seating area with the fireplace and television. Behind the loveseat in the back of the room, is a hard floor where we have the ride-on toys and the computer desk.

Rhys loves things with wheels and usually tries to cruise along the back of the basement, on the hard floor, being pulled by the forward momentum behind a shopping cart or coupe. This practice usually ends in tears since the floor is basically concrete covered in laminate flooring.

And we laughed and laughed:
Rhys plays peekaboo and his favorite is having a cloth to pull over his own face and wait for you to say, "Where's Rhys?" He pulls it down and laughs so much!

He REALLY loves to throw things - balls are his favorite because they bounce but really, anything at all that can be tossed is liable to be thrown.

Rhys also really adores his big brother and no one can make him laugh quite as easily as Cole does. From spitting water in the bathtub to slapping the table at dinner time. Somehow Rhys knows how funny bad behavior can be.

I may be gushing but I am really so proud of both of my boys and cannot wait to see how both of them grow into men.

Back in the saddle again

We finally made it back out to a MOMS Club activity today. My friend, Heather, hosted an indoor camping party where we pitched tents in the house, had a scavenger hunt, and learned about camping safety. We even sang campfire songs next to the fireplace. We had S'mores and then took the kids outside for some fresh air. I dressed the boys in outdoorsy clothes and thought they were pretty cute.

I had a work call this afternoon and then, after dinner, I went out for a run. Finally, I feel the balance return to my life. It is amazing how much having a variety of activities inside and outside the home makes a difference.

Here is a picture of Rhys taking a nap before we went to the camping activity.

What a great weekend!

The weather was beautiful here and even though I am still mildly under the weather and Chris has his own list of ailments that are holding him back, we decided that the temperature was too high for us to stay indoors. Yesterday, we headed out to Fredrick and Gaithersburg for the day. It was a beautiful drive out and we had a lovely lunch in Fredrick. The boys fell asleep in the car on the way to Gaithersburg so I ran into the visitor's center and grabbed some brochures. We headed over to the Roundhouse Museum which is really a dilapidated old building near the train tracks full of model train sets. It is maintained by volunteers so it isn't the best but it is really cool through a 2 year old's eyes. Just a block away is a train store with a HUGE model train set so we went there too. Cole thoroughly enjoyed it and Rhys seemed entertained too. Chris and I were impressed and glad to have the time away from home with everyone happy and well.
Today I did our taxes and before naps, we took the boys and dog for a walk around our neighborhood to burn off some energy and get some sun. After naps, we went for dinner in Annapolis and then walked around downtown and had a yummy cupcake before heading to the grocery store and back home. The weather is supposed to turn cold again and Cole asks me every time we have a sunny day if we can plant the flowers and garden yet. I am eager to do it too but will plant nothing before it is time. We will keep these sunny days in our thoughts through the rest of this cold winter. I will be up running tomorrow. I am actually missing it and feel well enough to get back to it.

Trying to amend my carnivorous habits

It isn't what you think! I am not going vegetarian. I LOVE vegetables but I also love meat. My children do too. Cole especially likes chicken but when he was Rhys' age, he loved bacon. He still does but not with the zeal that he did back then. We don't buy bacon anymore because of the cholesterol and fat but occasionally, we do get it when we are out. When Cole was barely 1, I had a bacon cheeseburger and gave him a soft piece of bacon from my burger. After we got home from the restaurant, he was playing on the floor and the dog wouldn't leave him alone. I realized that he was still chewing on the piece of bacon! It had been almost 2 hours!
Last night, I cut up a hamburger patty for Rhys for his supper. He really enjoyed it as did Sasha. I didn't even have to think of a broom last night after dinner, she had cleaned it all up. He really seemed to enjoy the taste as he had never had beef in a form that he needed to chew a little. I dusted him off after he was all done and took him to the bathroom for bath time. I got him undressed and put him in the tub. Cole soon followed and I got them both in the tub. Cole was playing and Rhys started laughing at him and, sure enough, there it was: a few little pearls of hamburger still being enjoyed in Rhys' mouth. I immediately was reminded of Cole and the bacon.

I really loved her

I realized today that you can love a person without knowing their last name. You can REALLY love them and it doesn't matter that you don't know such an obvious detail about them.
When Chris and I bought our house, we rented back to our sellers. They were divorcing and she was left with the house and no place to go so I made sure that I was here on the day she was to be out to make sure she was actually out. Chris had already planned a trip away, so I was here alone. I overheard a neighbor's voice from outside asking Ginny (the seller) if "the man" said that it was okay for her still be here. I repeated quietly to myself, "the man", and chuckled since I knew she was talking about the buyer and that I was, in fact, "the man".
Little did I know that I would come to know the person behind that voice as a beloved neighbor. She was the mother of my neighbor, Susan, and the Grandmother of Madison, the adorable 4 year old who gave clover flowers to Chris when he was lugging our belongings off the moving truck. All three lived in the house next door. Patty was a fixture on our street. She was a smoker so she was regularly outside and we spoke in passing a lot. She always asked how I was during my pregnancy with Cole, always offered advice and encouragement and, after Cole was born, always noticed when I dropped any weight.
As Cole became aware of her, he came to know her as Nana Patty. She always said hello to him when she saw us and he would run over to her if he saw her. They loved each other and I loved her more because of her attention to him. A couple of summers ago, she gave me her sister's old sewing machine and offered, many times, to come and show me how it worked. I was happy to have it and am even more attached to it now. I made countless bags with it for shopping and gifts.
On Halloween of 2007, Patty came over to where I was sitting and giving out candy (we always sit on our stoops because we would be up and down all night if we stayed inside) and told me in hushed tones that she had been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was really shaken by the news. She seemed set that this was a death sentence but had a blind hope that further tests would reveal that it was a mistake.
Further tests didn't reveal that, unfortunately, and Patty began a string of treatments that would carry her through two more Christmasses. Throughout her treatments, I helped Cole make get well soon cards for her and she regularly sent gifts over to him too. She always seemed to have something for him in her car - Lord only knows what she has stashed in her backseat for him even now. She lost her hair and during the most recent treatment, her vocal cords were burned as was the skin on her back. She confessed to me on Christmas Eve that she would not survive another round of treatments. Cole and I spent about an hour with her that day when we delivered a tray of biscuits for Christmas. I enjoyed the time sitting and socializing - like normal. I knew that would be her last Christmas. Little did I know that it would be the last time I would speak to her.
I never saw her again, actually. Her health really dipped after that and the cold was too much for her so she didn't come outside. She decided to go into hospice last week after she couldn't keep food down (nor did she have an appetite or was hungry). Patty died this morning just before 3am. I will miss her so much. Since I am at home - and she was at home, there was an underlying comfort in knowing she was there. I already miss her. The fact that I am not sure what her last name was doesn't diminish my love for her at all.

Brief Update

This one is going to be short since the day is coming to a close very quickly and I am fading fast. Basically, we are still down for the count with the RSV. The boys (all three) are recovering slowly. Rhys still has a rattle in his chest and, although Cole runs and plays without a caugh, he is still taking 3 + hour naps so there is obviously something keeping him down too. Chris is truly suffering today. He spent the majority of the day in bed and hopefully will be all better tomorrow.
The weather was beautiful today and I regret not getting out in it more. If tomorrow is anything like it, I will drag the boys out in the front yard to play a little - since the sun hits the front yard more than the back.
I have heard rumors of snow for Tuesday so we need to take advantage of the fresh air while we can. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and am grateful for antibiotics.