Quarterly updates?

When I started a blog, Chris seemed interested in doing one too but kept saying that no one wants to hear about his work. Well, my work is different in that I can tell some stories but I REALLY can't tell some stories in a public forum since my stories tend to be confidential in nature or at least could blemish a corporate image so I have to stay tight-lipped. The boys are the most interesting topic of conversation for us and I do enjoy blogging about our adventures.

Lately, I haven't been taking pictures and I haven't been blogging because I have simply been living it - there has been no time to document my life.

I am up sick in the bed today and felt like it was a good opportunity to get caught up.

Cole and Rhys are starting school in a little over a month and I will be turning 37 in a couple of weeks. I started school shopping this morning and will be taking inventory of what fits and what pieces are missing.

We spent a week in SC helping Mom and Dad after Mom had her hip replacement. Unfortunately, the recovery didn't go as planned and we needed all hands on deck. Becky came to the rescue by calling her trip short and returning back home so she could be closer after I left. She picked up where I left off and we were able to tag team the efforts to help them get back on track. It was emotionally and physically exhausting.

Kelly, my bff, was a lifesaver during that week because she took my kids so I could focus on my folks. Carrying on with the original plan to come to our house to celebrate the 4th of July, we changed plans a little and I left my car with her husband and Kelly and I left with all of the kids in the minivan early on Friday morning.

Sunday we hosted a 4th of July on the 3rd of July picnic/cookout with the neighbors in the sweltering heat. It was a good time but continued the trend of exhausting. Monday we continued the celebration with a shrimp boil at the neighbors. Tuesday I had a long day at work where I conducted a termination and put some finishing touches on a company-wide offsite that was happening on that Friday. These finishing touches were continuing through the week. The offsite was also an exhausting day and put an end to the craziness that was my mid-June to early-July.

We had a break for a weekend and then looked forward to taking the kids to The Great Wolf Lodge in Scotrun, PA (in the Poconos). Cole has been asking to go to GWL since I started commuting back to work last year. It was time to do it and we had satisfied our personal financial requirements before we decided to spend the money on a vacation.

The GWL is FULL-ON, indoor water park craziness. It was 46 solid hours of chasing, disciplining, take-turn making, craziness...The boys had a lot of fun and we promised ourselves that we would not be coming back for another 3 years.

Not surprising, Cole got sick on Saturday night so we came home after a quick pack-up on Sunday and I stayed home with him Monday. Also not surprising, I got sick and here I am now.

Like I said, I didn't take pictures but Chris managed to click a couple with his phone. Here are the boys. If you are interested in checking out the place, click here

So, you are probably asking yourself, "What's next?"

I am glad you asked! School is next, Chris and I will be attending the first Baltimore Grand Prix the day before Labor Day, a weekend sailing trip for me in September and then a trip for me to San Francisco to visit friends in October. We have booked a family portrait session for November and then we will be heading to NYC for a Christmas trip with friends in the middle of December followed by Chris' parents visiting along with his brother for Christmas.

So, if you don't hear from me in a while, assume that we are just being super busy - you will probably be right!

Happy Birthday Rhys

He is only 3 today but he gets to me in a way that no one else can. He moves me to tears with the spontaneous affection that he is so fond of and he pushes my buttons to the point of exasperation. I love him as much as a mother could and maybe more if that is possible. He is my light and one of the most important things in my life. We call him Rhys, Rhysie, Rhysie Poo, Rhysie Piece, Munchkin Minor, and Baby. Happy Birthday Rhys! Rhys on his real Birth Day

See those two teeth!

Happy 1st Birthday!

Mommy Tower

Bathtub fun

June 2009 in a tux for a formal wedding

Watermelon

Summer 2009 fun at the gym pool

July 4, 2009

Halloween 2009

Summer 2010

Beach vacation Summer 2010

St. Patrick's Day 2011

Me

I had thought I would sit down and update the blog with stuff about the kids. They are pretty much the same, actually, Rhys is almost 3 and has attitude and kindness all rolled into one. Cole is 5 now and is super independent but still wants me to help him do simple things and hold his hand. He wants to go to church every day so he can have alone time with me on the pew. I decided instead to give an update on me.

I am down to 1 physical therapy session per week, off antibiotics, and take ibuprofen less frequently than in weeks past. I am not convinced that any of the effort from the month of February is to be credited for the improvements, rather the weather has improved, I am exercising more because I am feeling better, and that positive cycle is creating an overall improved wellness for me. Did it hurt? No! I am sure it didn't. Was it a waste of time? Maybe. The jury is out on that but in the end, what is done is done and I did learn that my hip pain starts in my lower back so if I can strengthen and stretch my core and lower back, I will generally feel better.

I am going to school now and homework and studying at home is challenging. I am never in the mood and come up with ultra lame excuses to put it off. I am a hazard to myself, truly. It will get done - it always does. I feel like I need more accountability. Honestly, I don't know what needs to happen for me to do it. I will be spending some time at the library this weekend and hope that will help me to feel like more stuff is sinking into my brain. I just truly struggle to engage all of the neurons on the subject matter...ugh.

I am working still. I love, love, love it. I can't say much more. I love the challenges, I love that it is pretty easy to me because of the knowledge that has managed to sink in over the years. I love the people I work with and the girl who works for me. I love the opportunity that it gives me and the opportunity I give others. I love our babysitter. She is a blessing and I can't ask for a better situation for my kids.

I am planning a girl's weekend! So excited to get away with my friends and the friends of my children without our children...for 3 days! I am also planning family weekeng getaways and looking so forward to getting away from the house with people we love spending time with.

I am planning nothing for the summer. This may be a result of over-planning our Spring but at any rate, we have zippo plans for the summer months. I am sure something will present itself and the boys and I will escape, maybe even Chris will come along for some or all of it. This is likely to be the last summer that I have as much free time I as I will before I start working in the office more regularly. This is the last summer before Cole starts school so we really need to take advantage of the time as much as possible.

I am working out again. I am setting no goals and making no restrictions or obligations to myself but I am going when I can and enjoying it when I do. I am not dieting but I am eating on smaller plates and trying not to eat my childrens' leftovers. Trying...

I am struggling with my relationship with food and money and know that my patterns for abusing both of them are related. I hope to be more careful about how I treat both and the emotions that are involved with that. Just because I have the food, doesn't mean I need to eat it and just because I have the extra money, doesn't mean I have to spend it.

That is pretty much all there is to say. I am forever indebted to my friends for helping me have time to do things (like work) without worrying about the wellbeing of my kids. I am forever grateful that I have people in my life that really know me either because they have actually known me for my whole life up until now or because they know they will know me for the rest of my life. I am thankful for health and wellness even when I know I can't say that I have it myself.

The truth about poop

Cole and Rhys are different in most every way. Opposite, actually. The only exception was potty training. They were the same for potty training - to a point. Cole and Rhys both did great with peeing and pooping right away. Then refused to poop on the potty ever again but got into a habit of peeing on the potty over time. Cole overcame his fear of pooping on the potty with the promise of a great reward. Rhys didn't care about the reward and just simply refused. He did finally have a break-through yesterday. Who knew all we needed was for him to determine that needing to go to the potty was the best stall tactic for naps coupled with 2 Fiber One muffins for breakfast! Hopefully, dry nights are also in the near future. For now, pull-ups it is.

In summary: The poo has landed, voluntarily, at least once, in the correct place.

Congratulations, Rhys!

Next up: dressing yourself.

Happy Birthday Cole

My friend Kate does a great tribute to her kids on her blog on their birthdays and I was happy to follow suit. This was a long process that involved me getting butterflies in my stomach remembering how tiny he was and how big he has gotten. Chris calls him Munchkin Major, Buddy, and Cole. I call him Coleole, Colie, and baby... My sleeping new born Cole on his birthday.
Exploring the basement when he was first crawling

Enjoying his 1st Birthday Cake

Watching the goats at the petting zoo at Federal Hill Festival 2007

Showing his sunny face on vacation in OC, MD September 2007.

Enjoying Birthday Pancakes 2008

Our Snow Bunny Winter 2008

Handsome Lad Summer 2008

3rd Birthday

Playing in fountain after failed family photo shoot 2009

1st Day of Preschool

4th Birthday Cake (official party at Extreme Bounce)

Tee Ball Player 2010

Soccer Player 2010

Boy with his best friend (big bear) 2011

Cookies for School

Cole turns 5 tomorrow...amazing, by the way. He will also be at school tomorrow. Parents customarily treat the class with cupcakes. This is a habit that I am not entirely on board with since school goes from 9-12 and they get a parent-packed snack at 10:30. Cupcakes too?! I am all about a cupcake but would prefer it to be packed up and shipped home to enjoy after lunch. That's just me, though.

I wanted to participate in this activity: sharing Cole's birthday celebrations with all of his classmates. Especially since this year, I limited his party invitation list to 5 school friends. I decided to bake peanut-free cookies (since there are 2 peanut allergies on board), decorate them and wrap them up for his friends to enjoy at home.

I think they turned out pretty cute.

Pickin' and Grinin'

Cole ended the family game night early with a temper tantrum (he refused to acknowledge Rhys' win) the other night so Rhys had 1 on 1 time with Chris and I. We had a good time just responding to what he wanted to do and playing along with his games. Chris got the guitar down and I grabbed the camera to get a rare uninterrupted recording of his voice at (almost) 3.

Betime...a little thing

I really have to get better at documenting what we have going on. I have done so well with Facebook postings but I really am lacking in my blogging. I just looked over it and really loved checking out all of the old pictures and moments forever documented. I want to do better and I am going to try.

Right now: I am feeling not-so-great physically but am getting sweet kisses from my 4 year old as I type.

Right now: Rhys is telling Chris that he brushed his teeth front and back. He is rinsing and spitting.

Right now: It is bedtime complete with kisses, snuggles, competitions for affection, and loads of loving.

Right now: Rhys is snuggling Cole in his bunk bed and Cole is showing Rhys is secret weapon to be brave when there is a storm. I gave him a book light the last time we had thunder and told him that it was Daddy's secret light that keeps us all safe during storms and he is now responsible for it. He keeps it under his pillow.

Right now: Rhys is begging Chris for his nosey bear (a little blue bear with a loose thread on the nose that Rhys rubs across his own nose to go to sleep) and his pillowpet (a black and white cow that folds from being a stuffed animal into a flat pillow). It is well worn and was purchased partly with Cole's Christmas money in 2009.

Right now: Cole is telling Rhys that he has snuggled in his bed long enough and it is time for him to go to his own bed.

Niceties are falling by the wayside and Rhys is losing his temper. Too much love, too much of everything. Time for bed..

Good night boys. Sleep tight.

Antibiotic Side Effects and Physical Therapy

I started antibiotics to treat the Lyme Disease and have been experiencing some normal side effects and other not-so-normal side effects.
Nausea - was warned about this and still get it although I take it with food. Terrible heartburn feeling that subsides after about an hour.

1. Chills - ugh! I have never! I take one in the morning and get chills by mid-morning. I also take one before bed (not too close to bed since I have to take it with food AND the bottle instructs me not to lie down within 30 minutes of taking it). I sleep in fleece pajamas and wear two sets of socks and freeze - to the point that it actually wakes me up.
2. Weight loss. Yea! Probably a result of #1 but I am not complaining.

I had my first physical therapy session today. It was just a lot of being prodded and interviewed but I did manage to get a massage from it along with some time wrapped like a pig in a blanket. They wrapped my body completely around my hips with a thick stack of hot towels that were slightly moist...bliss. They are treating my Bursitis in my hips along with my lumbar which is contributing to the Bursitis. They will also treat my Fibromyalgia.

He knows that I need a lot of work and is looking forward to helping me. I am to start going 3 times/week. They have pretty flexible hours but the pool time is all in the middle of the day. To start, I have 2 days in the office and 1 day in the pool. I am trying to make this the priority but know it will be challenging to fit everything in. Truly, making myself well is the priority. Unfortunately, meeting the basic needs of my children (i.e. not leaving them unattended) is really the priority. Chris has work and I have some pretty crazy scheduling happening but I know I can make it happen but realize that I will have to reschedule some of these appointments.

It will all be fine. I have wonderful friends who have offered to help and I hope that I have enough folks to lean on that I don't have to keep going back to the same well. My insurance only covers 30 visits/year so I will surely be taking advantage of all of them.

A Diagnosis and a shred of HOPE

As a general update on my testing, condition, prognosis, etc. I had my follow-up appointment with my Rhumetologist this morning and it turns out that I have Lyme Disease. There is no telling how long I have had it but we are going to treat it with the 30 days of antibiotics and hope that is all it ever was. I am skeptical so I am ordering my medical records from Hopkins. I had this same battery of elimination tests for Fibromyalgia back in the early 2000's. If they tested for Lyme - it would have been negative or they would have treated it then - then I can assume that in addition to Fybromyalgia, I also now have Lyme. If they didn't test it, there is actually hope that I had Lyme all along and never should have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia before the Lyme was treated.

Aside from that, I am also newly deficient in Vitamin D - in August, I wasn't. Vitamin D deficiency also causes aches so I am going to start a supplement of 50,000IU/week for 12 weeks. I have a follow-up with her in 3 months. In the meantime, I am to do the water therapy, muscle relaxers, antibiotics, and Vitamin D supplements.

She did mention that there is a potential that after the Lyme is treated, I could suffer from Post Lyme Disease Pain...I am hoping that is not the case. Time will tell at this point.

Once I hear back from Hopkins, I will know more about the situation at hand. I spent today getting my schedule solidified. Rhys will be starting a soccer camp in March and Cole is starting Gymnastics next week. Cole turns 5 in a couple of weeks so I also scheduled his yearly check-up and scheduled dentist appointments for both of them. Additionally, I finally got my own aquatic therapy on the calendar and go for my first appointment - on dry land - to assess my needs on Thursday of this week.

I like having things to look forward, I don't particularly like being so busy but this time will offer so many good activities for the boys and I will be starting back to school in 2 weeks!

Who has time to be sick?! By the way, I have been so busy all day, I have yet to "Google" Lyme Disease.

Thoughts

I am going to journal more because that always helps me to keep focused. As usual, I need to refocus everything in my life. I am working way more than I am used to and am glad for it. I need to set this computer down and stop being content when my children are wiling the day away downstairs with the dreaded television or computer on. I need to be more strict with myself and my children on how we spend our spare time. Books and puzzles, board games, and crafts will make a resurgence in this house which means that I will be having less screen time - which is fine by me. I also need to drink more water, eat more veggies, and consume less carbs.

I am going to start working on the boys' scrapbooks for their first year. I am going to pull out all of my supplies and make a box of stuff for Cole's and have it ready to pull out on any given evening.

I have enrolled Rhys in a soccer class and will be enrolling Cole in a gymnastics class. I also am enrolled in class starting in February in the evenings on Wednesday. That probably means that I won't be scrapbooking in evenings because I will be studying - blek.

I need to end this post now so I can get up, get dressed, and get the kids focused on something other than what they are doing right now. Here's to making something together today and stitching a memory together to go with it.

Roller coaster

I was having a great day and really enjoying the fact that I got so much work done and the chili dinner was smelling delicious. I wasn't even angry when I saw a giant amoeba-shaped Kool-Aid stain on the carpet on my way from the living room to the kitchen. I sprayed some stain remover on and figured I would get it out after dinner.

After dinner, I found that none of my stain-remover tips were working (low roller coaster). I consulted Google and found a trick:

6 Cups Hot Water
4 Drops Dawn Dish Detergent
Warm Iron
White towels

Mix the detergent in the water. Wet a towel and dribble some of the detergent water mixture on the stain. Place a towel onto the stain and then put the iron on top. Let it sit for a minute or so and the stain lifts into the towel. This really works. Repeat as necessary.

Almost all of the stain came out - the rest will come out over time with the steam cleaner. (high roller coaster - I can see the whole park from here!)

As I picked up my stuff to put it all away, I lifted my foot and saw that I added a new stain of red play-doh, which had hitched a ride on the sole of my new slipper. Normally, I would have let it get crusty and just chip away at it but it had gotten wet from my other stain-removing-with-steam efforts and now was a bright pink spot the size of a silver dollar (low roller coaster - will this ride ever end?).

I refocused my stain-removing efforts to this stain and was not as successful.

MEANWHILE- Chris put the kids in the tub. About 1/2 way through the tub filling, I hear water dripping in the downstairs bathroom. I ran in and yelled up for the water to be turned off. Once it was off, it stopped dripping - so the tub itself wasn't leaking...must be the faucet. (even lower roller coaster - seriously, let me off now!)

MEANWHILE- Chris was doing a minor repair with wood glue and when he heard me yelling, he dropped the glue dispenser on the carpet in my son's room. (roller coaster lower still - I swear, I will jump if I must.). Fortunately, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and got all of the glue up (slight incline in coaster ride - click, click, click, click...)

We did some troubleshooting and I finally realized that the faucet cover that we have in the boys tub to prevent them from hurting their heads had been turned around - by the boys, by the way - and was causing the water to flow back and come out of the seal. Phew, at least we don't have to call a plumber and have them rip out the floor. (a further incline in the coaster - we are getting even higher now!).

I piled on to the even-tempered discussion that Chris lead with the children and enjoyed the remainder of the ride knowing that it would soon end and I could disengage the locking bar and get off for sure.

I abandoned the stain cleaning in hopes that the play-doh stain along with the faint Kool-aid will disappear over time. I can't deal with anything else this evening.

How things are now

It has been a while since I last posted to this blog and I guess it is because I have been busy living and working and doing my thing.

I want to post and document about my health and struggle with fibromyalgia but feel like I have talked about it until I can't talk about it any more. The bottom line is that I am in pain. I am in a lot of pain and I can't get away from myself enough to know what it is like to think about anything clearly.

Imagine having to function well throughout every minute of the day - grocery shopping, working on a spreadsheet, representing your company, disciplining your children, playing with your children, preparing a meal, etc. with someone constantly punching you in the back. Imagine how poorly you can concentrate and your lack of patience. That is where I am. Yesterday I cried. I cried a lot and wallowed it in. I am still wallowing in it a bit but know that I have given myself that time and now need to snap out of it. Accept that this is my lot in life, cope with it as much as I can, and move on. No one can do anything to help. The doctors can only give me more coping strategies. There is no cure, there is no magic pill. It all just seems so bleek.

My current strategy is whole foods, exercise, water, epson salt baths, heat pads, cold compresses, muscle relaxers, and ibuprophen.

Here's hoping.