Check from the neck up...

I have a beloved ex-boss who would use the term taking a check from the neck up when he referred to employees and their commitment to the job. He said this a lot since we worked in HR and would deal with employees of varying levels of job satisfaction. I find that I do this periodically in regard to the various roles I play.

I recently did a check from the neck up to determine my level of commitment with my MOMS Club. I love, love, love MOMS Club and want to do more with my children at activities but don't want to hold any position of responsibility anymore. I am a volunteer addict and am sure that this will be a challenge but I am looking forward to just participating and not having deadlines to meet with the club.

I also have done a check from the neck up with regard to house work and determined that my disdain lies in the clutter so I started cleaning out and making free space in drawers, cabinets, and closets. It makes me feel free to open a closet door and see space.

I love my work with The World Benefits and hope that something breaks through with that soon because I am eager to hit the ground running now. I feel a bit like a rubber band on a sling shot. I have been extended and am just ready for someone to release me so I can put this energy to work.

I also am eager for the frost to thaw permanently in our region so I can be comfortable releasing my baby plants into the wild of my yard. I am also looking forward to doing yard work, gardening, and the tending of my crops. This summer will be filled with fresh local veggies and home made bread. I am making fresh bread almost daily now and my CSA will start harvesting in about a month! These things make me happy. They bring me joy. Smelling yeast proof and the warmth of the kitchen as the aroma of freshly baked bread fills the space makes my soul full.

I am reading Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert and in the memoir, she goes on a journey to Italy to eat, India to pray, and I can only assume that she falls in love in Indonesia since I am only at the part where she gets to the Ashram in India. While in Italy, she gained over 20 pounds in about 15 weeks of just eating whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Having just survived a terrible divorce, she was under weight when she started so this pilgrimage of pleasure got her back on her feet. She found something to make her happy. Something that could pull her out of her depression. She says that when she found that something, she hung on tight to it until it pulled her out of the depression pit face first. I understand what she is saying.

It has been raining here for the past couple of days and in my check from the neck up this morning, I realized that I was happy for the rain. All of my friends complain about it, but for me, it justified my staying inside. I was so glad to have two steady days of nothing but rain. I had some obligations yesterday that took me out of the house but had it not been for those, I would have happily remained locked behind closed doors with nothing making me feel guilty for doing so. On sunny days, I feel guilty for staying inside even though I want to do nothing but that.

Fortunately for me, the things that I love to do are most appropriate on sunny days and I will cling tightly to them...gardening, walking, picnics. I am going to start on a regular walking schedule again and begin gardening as soon as possible. Bring on springtime...I need to get out of this house. I will embrace the things that make me happy and I will cling to them until they pull me completely out of the pit face first, dirt covered, to bask in the sun.