As a general update on my testing, condition, prognosis, etc. I had my follow-up appointment with my Rhumetologist this morning and it turns out that I have Lyme Disease. There is no telling how long I have had it but we are going to treat it with the 30 days of antibiotics and hope that is all it ever was. I am skeptical so I am ordering my medical records from Hopkins. I had this same battery of elimination tests for Fibromyalgia back in the early 2000's. If they tested for Lyme - it would have been negative or they would have treated it then - then I can assume that in addition to Fybromyalgia, I also now have Lyme. If they didn't test it, there is actually hope that I had Lyme all along and never should have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia before the Lyme was treated.
Aside from that, I am also newly deficient in Vitamin D - in August, I wasn't. Vitamin D deficiency also causes aches so I am going to start a supplement of 50,000IU/week for 12 weeks. I have a follow-up with her in 3 months. In the meantime, I am to do the water therapy, muscle relaxers, antibiotics, and Vitamin D supplements.
She did mention that there is a potential that after the Lyme is treated, I could suffer from Post Lyme Disease Pain...I am hoping that is not the case. Time will tell at this point.
Once I hear back from Hopkins, I will know more about the situation at hand. I spent today getting my schedule solidified. Rhys will be starting a soccer camp in March and Cole is starting Gymnastics next week. Cole turns 5 in a couple of weeks so I also scheduled his yearly check-up and scheduled dentist appointments for both of them. Additionally, I finally got my own aquatic therapy on the calendar and go for my first appointment - on dry land - to assess my needs on Thursday of this week.
I like having things to look forward, I don't particularly like being so busy but this time will offer so many good activities for the boys and I will be starting back to school in 2 weeks!
Who has time to be sick?! By the way, I have been so busy all day, I have yet to "Google" Lyme Disease.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thoughts
I am going to journal more because that always helps me to keep focused. As usual, I need to refocus everything in my life. I am working way more than I am used to and am glad for it. I need to set this computer down and stop being content when my children are wiling the day away downstairs with the dreaded television or computer on. I need to be more strict with myself and my children on how we spend our spare time. Books and puzzles, board games, and crafts will make a resurgence in this house which means that I will be having less screen time - which is fine by me. I also need to drink more water, eat more veggies, and consume less carbs.
I am going to start working on the boys' scrapbooks for their first year. I am going to pull out all of my supplies and make a box of stuff for Cole's and have it ready to pull out on any given evening.
I have enrolled Rhys in a soccer class and will be enrolling Cole in a gymnastics class. I also am enrolled in class starting in February in the evenings on Wednesday. That probably means that I won't be scrapbooking in evenings because I will be studying - blek.
I need to end this post now so I can get up, get dressed, and get the kids focused on something other than what they are doing right now. Here's to making something together today and stitching a memory together to go with it.
I am going to start working on the boys' scrapbooks for their first year. I am going to pull out all of my supplies and make a box of stuff for Cole's and have it ready to pull out on any given evening.
I have enrolled Rhys in a soccer class and will be enrolling Cole in a gymnastics class. I also am enrolled in class starting in February in the evenings on Wednesday. That probably means that I won't be scrapbooking in evenings because I will be studying - blek.
I need to end this post now so I can get up, get dressed, and get the kids focused on something other than what they are doing right now. Here's to making something together today and stitching a memory together to go with it.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Roller coaster
I was having a great day and really enjoying the fact that I got so much work done and the chili dinner was smelling delicious. I wasn't even angry when I saw a giant amoeba-shaped Kool-Aid stain on the carpet on my way from the living room to the kitchen. I sprayed some stain remover on and figured I would get it out after dinner.
After dinner, I found that none of my stain-remover tips were working (low roller coaster). I consulted Google and found a trick:
6 Cups Hot Water
4 Drops Dawn Dish Detergent
Warm Iron
White towels
Mix the detergent in the water. Wet a towel and dribble some of the detergent water mixture on the stain. Place a towel onto the stain and then put the iron on top. Let it sit for a minute or so and the stain lifts into the towel. This really works. Repeat as necessary.
Almost all of the stain came out - the rest will come out over time with the steam cleaner. (high roller coaster - I can see the whole park from here!)
As I picked up my stuff to put it all away, I lifted my foot and saw that I added a new stain of red play-doh, which had hitched a ride on the sole of my new slipper. Normally, I would have let it get crusty and just chip away at it but it had gotten wet from my other stain-removing-with-steam efforts and now was a bright pink spot the size of a silver dollar (low roller coaster - will this ride ever end?).
I refocused my stain-removing efforts to this stain and was not as successful.
MEANWHILE- Chris put the kids in the tub. About 1/2 way through the tub filling, I hear water dripping in the downstairs bathroom. I ran in and yelled up for the water to be turned off. Once it was off, it stopped dripping - so the tub itself wasn't leaking...must be the faucet. (even lower roller coaster - seriously, let me off now!)
MEANWHILE- Chris was doing a minor repair with wood glue and when he heard me yelling, he dropped the glue dispenser on the carpet in my son's room. (roller coaster lower still - I swear, I will jump if I must.). Fortunately, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and got all of the glue up (slight incline in coaster ride - click, click, click, click...)
We did some troubleshooting and I finally realized that the faucet cover that we have in the boys tub to prevent them from hurting their heads had been turned around - by the boys, by the way - and was causing the water to flow back and come out of the seal. Phew, at least we don't have to call a plumber and have them rip out the floor. (a further incline in the coaster - we are getting even higher now!).
I piled on to the even-tempered discussion that Chris lead with the children and enjoyed the remainder of the ride knowing that it would soon end and I could disengage the locking bar and get off for sure.
I abandoned the stain cleaning in hopes that the play-doh stain along with the faint Kool-aid will disappear over time. I can't deal with anything else this evening.
After dinner, I found that none of my stain-remover tips were working (low roller coaster). I consulted Google and found a trick:
6 Cups Hot Water
4 Drops Dawn Dish Detergent
Warm Iron
White towels
Mix the detergent in the water. Wet a towel and dribble some of the detergent water mixture on the stain. Place a towel onto the stain and then put the iron on top. Let it sit for a minute or so and the stain lifts into the towel. This really works. Repeat as necessary.
Almost all of the stain came out - the rest will come out over time with the steam cleaner. (high roller coaster - I can see the whole park from here!)
As I picked up my stuff to put it all away, I lifted my foot and saw that I added a new stain of red play-doh, which had hitched a ride on the sole of my new slipper. Normally, I would have let it get crusty and just chip away at it but it had gotten wet from my other stain-removing-with-steam efforts and now was a bright pink spot the size of a silver dollar (low roller coaster - will this ride ever end?).
I refocused my stain-removing efforts to this stain and was not as successful.
MEANWHILE- Chris put the kids in the tub. About 1/2 way through the tub filling, I hear water dripping in the downstairs bathroom. I ran in and yelled up for the water to be turned off. Once it was off, it stopped dripping - so the tub itself wasn't leaking...must be the faucet. (even lower roller coaster - seriously, let me off now!)
MEANWHILE- Chris was doing a minor repair with wood glue and when he heard me yelling, he dropped the glue dispenser on the carpet in my son's room. (roller coaster lower still - I swear, I will jump if I must.). Fortunately, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and got all of the glue up (slight incline in coaster ride - click, click, click, click...)
We did some troubleshooting and I finally realized that the faucet cover that we have in the boys tub to prevent them from hurting their heads had been turned around - by the boys, by the way - and was causing the water to flow back and come out of the seal. Phew, at least we don't have to call a plumber and have them rip out the floor. (a further incline in the coaster - we are getting even higher now!).
I piled on to the even-tempered discussion that Chris lead with the children and enjoyed the remainder of the ride knowing that it would soon end and I could disengage the locking bar and get off for sure.
I abandoned the stain cleaning in hopes that the play-doh stain along with the faint Kool-aid will disappear over time. I can't deal with anything else this evening.
How things are now
It has been a while since I last posted to this blog and I guess it is because I have been busy living and working and doing my thing.
I want to post and document about my health and struggle with fibromyalgia but feel like I have talked about it until I can't talk about it any more. The bottom line is that I am in pain. I am in a lot of pain and I can't get away from myself enough to know what it is like to think about anything clearly.
Imagine having to function well throughout every minute of the day - grocery shopping, working on a spreadsheet, representing your company, disciplining your children, playing with your children, preparing a meal, etc. with someone constantly punching you in the back. Imagine how poorly you can concentrate and your lack of patience. That is where I am. Yesterday I cried. I cried a lot and wallowed it in. I am still wallowing in it a bit but know that I have given myself that time and now need to snap out of it. Accept that this is my lot in life, cope with it as much as I can, and move on. No one can do anything to help. The doctors can only give me more coping strategies. There is no cure, there is no magic pill. It all just seems so bleek.
My current strategy is whole foods, exercise, water, epson salt baths, heat pads, cold compresses, muscle relaxers, and ibuprophen.
Here's hoping.
I want to post and document about my health and struggle with fibromyalgia but feel like I have talked about it until I can't talk about it any more. The bottom line is that I am in pain. I am in a lot of pain and I can't get away from myself enough to know what it is like to think about anything clearly.
Imagine having to function well throughout every minute of the day - grocery shopping, working on a spreadsheet, representing your company, disciplining your children, playing with your children, preparing a meal, etc. with someone constantly punching you in the back. Imagine how poorly you can concentrate and your lack of patience. That is where I am. Yesterday I cried. I cried a lot and wallowed it in. I am still wallowing in it a bit but know that I have given myself that time and now need to snap out of it. Accept that this is my lot in life, cope with it as much as I can, and move on. No one can do anything to help. The doctors can only give me more coping strategies. There is no cure, there is no magic pill. It all just seems so bleek.
My current strategy is whole foods, exercise, water, epson salt baths, heat pads, cold compresses, muscle relaxers, and ibuprophen.
Here's hoping.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Right now
Phew! My mind is all over the place right now. I can't nail down a blogging topic because I have so much to say. That is probably because I have so much to be thankful for, excited about, and generally positive about. I can break it down into categories but that seems too structured so I will demonstrate how swirly (is that a word?) my thoughts are in my brain right now.
My dog is so funny. There is a ball on her bed so she is sleeping on the floor. She can move the ball - this is a skill that she has - but since it is one of the kids' toys, she won't go near it. She is very respectful of people stuff, for the most part, and won't even think about moving it.
Our Christmas tree is really pretty. I like how I can make it come alive at the flick of a switch and the walls reflect the soft glow of the colored lights. The star on top slowly changes colors too so it is always a little different every time I look at it.
I just watched the sun rise. I am not sure why I couldn't sleep and am surely going to be regretting it more later.
Cole has swim lessons this morning. He is in a 4 week session at the gym and is doing okay. He doesn't want to put his face under so he closes his eyes and holds his breath while his face hovers millimeters from the water surface as he paddles along. I hope he takes the plunge today.
We started our Month of Christmas yesterday. I made up a calendar that has a Christmas-related activity every day from December 1 through December 25th. Today we will do a snowflake craft with MOMS Club.
I am so thankful for our babysitter. She is so flexible with her schedule, accommodating my crazy requests at the last minute to pick up Cole from school, and even take him to his last swim lesson in a few weeks so I can participate in a work gift exchange.
I am so thankful for all of my friends who are part of the village that raises my children. Jessica and Amber are, without fail, always willing to help out and are actually overwhelming apologetic when they can't. Heather is always there when I need to vent or complain. Kelly is my rock, my conscience, and an extension of myself. Lawrie surrenders convenience for me once a week to get Cole to the sitter. Kara graciously offers to keep the boys for Chris and I to have time off. Aside from helping with the kids, these ladies help me keep focus on my priorities and place in this world. I am so very blessed.
I took too long to drink my coffee and now it is cold, but not cold enough to pass as iced coffee - ugh.
Cole helped me put out our nativity scene. I don't have enough Christ things on our calendar to say that I am keeping Christ in Christmas. I think I will start reading the Christmas bible passages to Cole at night.
More decorations. I think we need more. I am not going all Clark Griswald on the place but we do need to be a little more festive. I think I will remedy that this weekend.
Work is great! I love it. I love the people. I love the work. I love it.
Potty training absolutely sucks. ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. Let me say it again, it F*&%ing Sucks. Rhys refuses to poop on the potty and now won't even tell me he needs a diaper. He poops on the floor, in his pants, anywhere. He got used to wearing a pull-up and now also pees in his pants. I had to wash 4 pairs of pants, a set of sheets, 2 dining room chair cushions, and a shirt on Tuesday because he peed on them.
I love my kids. Rhys can be so sweet sometimes and when he is and he is content with what he is doing, he is an absolute joy. Some days that time comes and goes like a flash in the pan. He has a hair trigger and often I would say that he acts like an A$$. If an adult man acted like he does, he would be wildly successful in business but terribly lonely.
Rhys wants what he wants and when he wants it and nothing short of that is good enough. He digs his heels in and must be in charge of the situation and me. What ever he does has to be his idea and on his terms. He tries to order me around, has temper tantrums often, and is rude. He is coy and knows how to get what he wants. He can order tears to come as quickly as he could smile.
That being said: he is 2. He is 2 and the above paragraph is the definition of a 2 year old. Cole was an A$$ when he was 2 and we survived that. I reminded him and myself who was in charge and we will get there but he will spend a lot of time in time-out, will be dismissed from the table without dinner when he refuses to eat and hits his brother with his fork. He will be told how to politely say "Sorry, I was just talking to myself" instead of the abrupt, "I am not talking to you" that currently spews from his cute little lips. He will get it. It just takes us hounding him about it for him to finally understand.
When it is good, though, it is spectacular.
Cole is also finding his way and can be an angel and a devil within the same 10 minute span of time. I am grateful of their patience with me and their unconditional love of me. I am so very grateful
My dog is so funny. There is a ball on her bed so she is sleeping on the floor. She can move the ball - this is a skill that she has - but since it is one of the kids' toys, she won't go near it. She is very respectful of people stuff, for the most part, and won't even think about moving it.
Our Christmas tree is really pretty. I like how I can make it come alive at the flick of a switch and the walls reflect the soft glow of the colored lights. The star on top slowly changes colors too so it is always a little different every time I look at it.
I just watched the sun rise. I am not sure why I couldn't sleep and am surely going to be regretting it more later.
Cole has swim lessons this morning. He is in a 4 week session at the gym and is doing okay. He doesn't want to put his face under so he closes his eyes and holds his breath while his face hovers millimeters from the water surface as he paddles along. I hope he takes the plunge today.
We started our Month of Christmas yesterday. I made up a calendar that has a Christmas-related activity every day from December 1 through December 25th. Today we will do a snowflake craft with MOMS Club.
I am so thankful for our babysitter. She is so flexible with her schedule, accommodating my crazy requests at the last minute to pick up Cole from school, and even take him to his last swim lesson in a few weeks so I can participate in a work gift exchange.
I am so thankful for all of my friends who are part of the village that raises my children. Jessica and Amber are, without fail, always willing to help out and are actually overwhelming apologetic when they can't. Heather is always there when I need to vent or complain. Kelly is my rock, my conscience, and an extension of myself. Lawrie surrenders convenience for me once a week to get Cole to the sitter. Kara graciously offers to keep the boys for Chris and I to have time off. Aside from helping with the kids, these ladies help me keep focus on my priorities and place in this world. I am so very blessed.
I took too long to drink my coffee and now it is cold, but not cold enough to pass as iced coffee - ugh.
Cole helped me put out our nativity scene. I don't have enough Christ things on our calendar to say that I am keeping Christ in Christmas. I think I will start reading the Christmas bible passages to Cole at night.
More decorations. I think we need more. I am not going all Clark Griswald on the place but we do need to be a little more festive. I think I will remedy that this weekend.
Work is great! I love it. I love the people. I love the work. I love it.
Potty training absolutely sucks. ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. Let me say it again, it F*&%ing Sucks. Rhys refuses to poop on the potty and now won't even tell me he needs a diaper. He poops on the floor, in his pants, anywhere. He got used to wearing a pull-up and now also pees in his pants. I had to wash 4 pairs of pants, a set of sheets, 2 dining room chair cushions, and a shirt on Tuesday because he peed on them.
I love my kids. Rhys can be so sweet sometimes and when he is and he is content with what he is doing, he is an absolute joy. Some days that time comes and goes like a flash in the pan. He has a hair trigger and often I would say that he acts like an A$$. If an adult man acted like he does, he would be wildly successful in business but terribly lonely.
Rhys wants what he wants and when he wants it and nothing short of that is good enough. He digs his heels in and must be in charge of the situation and me. What ever he does has to be his idea and on his terms. He tries to order me around, has temper tantrums often, and is rude. He is coy and knows how to get what he wants. He can order tears to come as quickly as he could smile.
That being said: he is 2. He is 2 and the above paragraph is the definition of a 2 year old. Cole was an A$$ when he was 2 and we survived that. I reminded him and myself who was in charge and we will get there but he will spend a lot of time in time-out, will be dismissed from the table without dinner when he refuses to eat and hits his brother with his fork. He will be told how to politely say "Sorry, I was just talking to myself" instead of the abrupt, "I am not talking to you" that currently spews from his cute little lips. He will get it. It just takes us hounding him about it for him to finally understand.
When it is good, though, it is spectacular.
Cole is also finding his way and can be an angel and a devil within the same 10 minute span of time. I am grateful of their patience with me and their unconditional love of me. I am so very grateful
Monday, November 1, 2010
Shanti
Shanti, Santhi or Shanthi (from Sanskrit शान्तिः śāntiḥ) means peace, rest, calmness, tranquility, or bliss.
The poet T.S. Eliot, in his poem The Waste Land (where he spelled it Shantih) translated it as "The Peace which passeth understanding."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are very rare moments in my life where I can say that I have a flood of peace and calmness roll over me. So often I get wrapped up in money worries, life balance issues, health concerns, physical discomfort, and weight woes. Today, this instant, I can say that I am calm and at peace in my life. I am so in love with my family, friends, job, and life that I am smiling from my soul.
Yesterday I was surrounded by friends and family in a joyous fellowship that included glorious weather, fun games, candy, cupcakes, hot dogs, and even a bounce house. Smiles, hugs, kisses, and laughter was the name of the game - there was trick-or-treating too. And I am still floating on the happiness cloud that I let billow under my feet yesterday.
I am so very blessed to have friends to enrich my life and lift me up. I am so blessed to have lovely children and an ever-helpful husband to make everything great even better somehow. I am blessed and thankful for having a mother that my husband loves as much as I do and who is so very integrated in my life that she knows my friends even though they live so far away.
I am spending today at work, blessed and thankful that I can be in an office where people ask me about my weekend and family and really want to know about them both. I will be working through my to-do list today with a smile on my face and look forward to seeing my munchkins tonight.
The poet T.S. Eliot, in his poem The Waste Land (where he spelled it Shantih) translated it as "The Peace which passeth understanding."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are very rare moments in my life where I can say that I have a flood of peace and calmness roll over me. So often I get wrapped up in money worries, life balance issues, health concerns, physical discomfort, and weight woes. Today, this instant, I can say that I am calm and at peace in my life. I am so in love with my family, friends, job, and life that I am smiling from my soul.
Yesterday I was surrounded by friends and family in a joyous fellowship that included glorious weather, fun games, candy, cupcakes, hot dogs, and even a bounce house. Smiles, hugs, kisses, and laughter was the name of the game - there was trick-or-treating too. And I am still floating on the happiness cloud that I let billow under my feet yesterday.
I am so very blessed to have friends to enrich my life and lift me up. I am so blessed to have lovely children and an ever-helpful husband to make everything great even better somehow. I am blessed and thankful for having a mother that my husband loves as much as I do and who is so very integrated in my life that she knows my friends even though they live so far away.
I am spending today at work, blessed and thankful that I can be in an office where people ask me about my weekend and family and really want to know about them both. I will be working through my to-do list today with a smile on my face and look forward to seeing my munchkins tonight.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Camping
Cole has been asking to go camping for a while and it is among the promises I made when I started working. Camping gear isn't cheap and I need creature comforts when I am with my children in the wild. Honestly, I am happy to go without...I just don't want to deal with them going without. I found a camp cabin at a campground about 1.5 hours away. I booked it on Wednesday for Friday night and was thrilled at the prospect.
I immediately took inventory of the must-haves which included bed linens kitchen gear to cook over fire and warm clothes. We were taking Sasha so that significantly limited our space in the car. she takes up half of the back while the boys take 2/3 of the back seat. In the end, We took the cooler stuffed with food and beer, a small box filled with kitchen essentials (1 small stainless steel saucepan with lid, 1 large Calphalon skillet with lid, 1 2-sided cast iron grill pan with griddle), 2 pocket fleece blankets for the boys, bed linens and a quilt, pillows, bedtime buddies, and folding chairs for 4. Phew, it all fit along with the dog, her bed, and her food bowls.
A friend came through by surprise and offered a camp stove which truly was a life-saver. We were able to just fire it up in the morning for hot water and eggs. I used it again on Sunday for bacon and pancakes.
The boys had a great time playing around the cabin and the dog had the time of her life just being there with us and staying outside all day long.
Everyone went to bed well but we had many wakeful moments with the boys together in one bed. The cabin had a fridge and coffee maker along with a television. The beds were a double and a set of bunks. The top bunk rails were spaced so far apart that Cole would fall through so we had them both sleep on the bottom. It worked out okay and we had all of our stuff neatly tucked away under the bed and on the top bunk.
We had an awesome time and cannot wait to go again.
I immediately took inventory of the must-haves which included bed linens kitchen gear to cook over fire and warm clothes. We were taking Sasha so that significantly limited our space in the car. she takes up half of the back while the boys take 2/3 of the back seat. In the end, We took the cooler stuffed with food and beer, a small box filled with kitchen essentials (1 small stainless steel saucepan with lid, 1 large Calphalon skillet with lid, 1 2-sided cast iron grill pan with griddle), 2 pocket fleece blankets for the boys, bed linens and a quilt, pillows, bedtime buddies, and folding chairs for 4. Phew, it all fit along with the dog, her bed, and her food bowls.
A friend came through by surprise and offered a camp stove which truly was a life-saver. We were able to just fire it up in the morning for hot water and eggs. I used it again on Sunday for bacon and pancakes.
The boys had a great time playing around the cabin and the dog had the time of her life just being there with us and staying outside all day long.
Everyone went to bed well but we had many wakeful moments with the boys together in one bed. The cabin had a fridge and coffee maker along with a television. The beds were a double and a set of bunks. The top bunk rails were spaced so far apart that Cole would fall through so we had them both sleep on the bottom. It worked out okay and we had all of our stuff neatly tucked away under the bed and on the top bunk.
We had an awesome time and cannot wait to go again.
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