When to fight the feeling and when to give in

My body spoke and I listened. I went to sleep at 9pm last night and awoke this morning at 5:30. That isn't a bad thing since that is the time I get up when I commute so I might as well start getting up at the same time every day. It seems like a good idea to get my body in a rhythm of wake and sleep, exercise and nutrition. It is making sense now. If I need to sleep in and can, I will. I also will fight the desire to stay in bed just because it is warm or because I just don't feel like getting up. It's all about discipline, folks.

I was especially glad to be up and at 'em this morning because I was able to have a very small bowl of fiber cereal at 6 and then be able to get my cardio in without an empty or full stomach at 9. Why was I able to exercise at 9 when I have a job? I worked from 6 until 8 - that's how! And, as my profile reads: My company allows me to be extraordinarily and sometimes unbelievably flexible with my time. Basically, because I am really good at my job (a claim I am happy to make because I work hard at it).

Anyhoo: Cereal, work, gets kids to school, EXERCISE! After I dropped my little one off for the day, I went to a different local park with a paved path that winds through a wooded area. I stretched on the monkey bars a little before and warmed up for a few minutes and, at a really slow pace, I jogged the whole way around. Chris has been giving me tips on running and breathing so I focused on breathing in for four steps and breathing out for four steps and I made it all the way. I stopped when I was having to take a breath on 3 steps and walked around a second time. I ended my exercise time with some stretches on the playground. I only stayed out there for about 30 minutes because I do have a job and obligations but I carved out the time I could and did it. When I got home I made a proper breakfast for myself.

 

I am unique in that I love all things healthy - I actually love all food but don't like the way I feel physically after I eat things that are bad for me and I also have terrible guilt so this last week has taken all of the guilt out of eating and I have been able to really enjoy and look forward to meals again.

This little gem is a smoked salmon sandwich on a whole wheat English muffin with half of one of those triangles of Laughing Cow French Onion spreadable cheese, baby mixed greens, and a slice of a tomato. The portion of smoked salmon was really small, probably about 1oz. 

Since I had some of the stuff out, I made a wrap for lunch of just under 4 ounces of turkey, whole grain mustard, the other half of that cheese triangle, a couple of slices of that same tomato and some baby mixed greens - all on a Mission Carb Balance tortilla.

I made regular coffee instead of decaf for my after lunch drink and it made me hot - I am guessing elevated blood pressure. I don't want to make that mistake again. I hate that feeling.

I had a snack bag of freeze dried strawberries and bananas and then a snack bag of that crispy edamame again. After the kids got home, I had a cheese stick and decided I couldn't wait any longer for dinner.

I had a bowl of microwave steamed kale topped with a slice of last night's turkey meatloaf. What can I say? Sometimes, you just need food to fill yourself and it won't be the best tasting meal you ever had but it serves the purpose.

I am REALLY dragging again tonight. I can easily blame it on biology this week and am interested to see if I see a weight drop as a result of hormones next week. I do weekly weigh-ins on Wednesday. It is catchy: Weigh In Wednesday. It also helps me to make sure that the scale is not temporarily impacted by bloating as a result of weekend frivolity so I avoid scales on Monday unless I am just curious.

Tomorrow is Wednesday so I hope for some good results: spoiler alert, I know I have lost more than 5 pounds already :)

Who's tired?

ME!!!

I got up at the usual 6am and went to work (I have an hour commute but don't feel bad for me, I don't have to do it every day). I got to the office, made myself a cup of coffee and got to the business of planning my day. At 8:30, while meeting with one of my employees about a facilities issue, I ate: 1 Hard boiled egg WHITE and about 1 cup of fruit salad with kiwi, grapes, strawberries and watermelon. I went into a meeting where I stood to present for an hour and then took the new hires on a tour of the office (which now means walking about the same as one city block because my company now occupies one whole floor of a building that takes up a block). 

I then attended a series of meetings until 12:00 when I met my new employees in our company's cafe for lunch. I bought a salad that was big and had walnuts, dried cranberries, and strawberries with a strawberry yogurt dressing. I dipped the tip of my fork in the dressing and at that way and only ate about 1/4 of the salad, making sure to portion out those nuts while I was at it - good for me!

I worked for the rest of the day, continuing to do laps around the office which I hope burned some calories even though it didn't really elevate my heart rate. 

I had thought I would do strength training when I got home but I am BEAT! I made a turkey meatloaf for dinner with fresh green beans and mashed potatoes (for the boys) so I will have some of the leftover cauliflower. I was hungry when I got home so I had a snack pack of dried edamame that I found on Amazon  - tasty and low cal so a great snack for me.

Resting and reading for my "off" day today instead of exercise.

Day 6 - Victories and Challenges

Well, our beloved Ravens have made it to the playoffs as have the Redskins! That means football - that means beer. I will get to that in a few minutes.

I am following advice from a wellness/lifestyle change book that I am reading: Thinner This Year, A Younger Next Year Book. It is really informative and inspirational and only sometimes over-the-top. It is written for older folks and that makes me feel like I am ahead of the game in years to get caught up. When I say "older" I mean people about 7 years older than me: older, nevertheless.

Last night I learned that I should eat something before exercising but not too close to exercising so I was conflicted about exercise timing this morning coupled with the need to run errands, eat breakfast, etc. So, I decided to have:
OATMEAL for Breakfast
And then head out to get my shopping done. Since it is cold out, I also planned on going to the track at the park on my way home to get my exercise in. All went according to plan - sort of.

I warmed up and then decided I was ready to jog and jogged around the whole damn track - I did it! Clearly, my goal was too small so now I am planning to train for double and then I will double that until I can jog a 5k without stopping. That is a decent goal and not a small one for someone who has never done this kind of thing with such purpose.

So, I got home and had a healthy wrap with my beloved Mission Carb Balance Tortillas, leftover flank steak (about 4 oz.), 1/4 avocado, mixed baby spinach and greens, and salsa. For sides, Chris and I split a clementine, a bunch of grapes, and a kiwi.

Did you know that a single kiwi has the same amount of Vitamin C as an orange and twice the potassium of a banana! Eat a kiwi or a banana for that essential potassium.

I had a healthy breakfast and lunch and I exercised, good for me. Then I cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen. Good for me! Then I sat down for a football game and filled a glass with home brew. I am only having 1 and am sipping it but I am cheating. I will let myself do it. I will be really good at dinner, I am not having any snacks with my brew and I am not having more than 1. This is all far and beyond what would have been the case last week!

Supper ended up being a bed of lightly steamed kale topped with about 4 ounces of turkey and a generous serving of roasted cauliflower and beets. Dessert was another 5 M&Ms and a cup of coffee...incidentally, I never even finished that beer - so there!

Saturday reboot

No worse for the wear from last night's shenanigans and I was up and at 'em this morning. This is a new program for me in general because I have never really committed to exercising for the sake of losing weight and being fit. One or the other, but never together. This may well be the key because I have multiple goals both dependent on my getting my ass out of bed/off the couch/out of the chair.

I was out the door like I didn't have an option this morning and only chose my destination. Today, it was the wharf. Our community wharf is exactly .8 miles from my house and I knew this meant 1.6 miles total (because I do know basic math, much to the disagreement of my husband). A great way to start the morning on a Saturday (a notoriously out of control calorie day for me). 

I walked to warm up and repeated my trick from yesterday where I picked a spot in the distance and jogged until I got there. I found myself saying "I will stop at that mailbox and then seeing a sign a little further and choosing the sign instead."

Finally, there was a point where I said, I will jog from this mailbox to the water (not the wharf, the water). I did this and found inspiration there.

Jogging at a pace that can only be described as bouncy walking, an elderly Asian couple were making their way around the wharf (the wharf is square and approximately 30-40 feet on each side). They seemingly effortlessly kept going, she ahead of he and neither panting or puffing. They were dressed oddly for exercise (both wearing dress slacks and loafers). They both wished me a good morning and kept on their path, around and around and around... I rested, panting from my "sprint" and hoped they assumed I had just ran 2 miles rather than 2000 feet. They were exercising for purpose, seizing the moment on a crisp January morning, making use of their space and lengthening their lives together. SO INSPIRATIONAL!

Also inspired was my breakfast. I got back home by way of a low and slow walk - still my feet did it :). I made this for my breakfast:

Reboot Omelet:

Break two eggs into a bowl and fish out one of the yolks, just dig right in there, you can do it.

Scramble them up with a fork and set them aside.

Chop beet greens (or any greens you have on hand, I bought beets with tops so I just pulled them off - I am hard core)

Chop green bell peppers

Chop green onion

Chip 4 mushrooms

Saute the veggies in a pan with a drizzle of olive oil and set aside the cooked veggies.

Spray the pan with cooking spray and pour in the eggs.

Using a spatula/turner, move the eggs around a bit and then spoon in the cooked veggies on one side of the eggs. Using the spatula/turner, lift the side of the eggs without the veggies and fold it over top of the veggies, plate it up and eat.

I enjoyed it with the other half of the banana I used on my cereal yesterday.

Did you know that your nerve cells from your brain send messages to your muscle cells to tell them to move by shifting sodium and potassium within the cells to change the electrical current? Eat bananas, your body needs that potassium if you are using your muscles!

Lunch date with the kids and hubby at a -eek- Mexican restaurant. I ate the delicious salsa with a fork! No chips! I also had tilapia al tequila with roasted mixed veggies. IT WAS DELICIOUS! I even left the yummy-but-off-limits rice. A medium light latte was my dessert. No afternoon snack today.

Chris treated me to dinner which I asked that he keep within the parameters of my new lifestyle and he handily complied with Asian chicken tenders on skewers, brown rice with Asian flavors and mixed steamed veggies. It was delicious and I kept my rice portion really small. I also am enjoying my second glass of a nice sippable white wine.

I will be back at it tomorrow with more exercise and good eatin' 

Whine about Wine

It is a mere 3.5 hours since I posted about the day. I have eaten my last meal and the last food to part my lips was the dreaded and uncontrollable "snacky supper".

I put together a smorgasbord of leftovers and general snacks for the family - AND WE ATE IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION! As per the norm, there was a plate of raw veggies on hand. This was the largest of all the plates. I also did a plate of protein which consisted of New Years Day turkey slices, turkey pepperoni slices, sliced salami, and slices of the flank steak that we had last night - oh and some cheddar cheese for good measure. I saw this as the "off limits" platter (though I snuck a taste of the turkey). We also had hummus and some of the laughing cow cheese spread. I made myself a small plate of olives, shrimp, and some salmon spread to make up for the "off limits" protein tray. I had more than I should but it was of the good stuff, so I am not beating myself up about it.

I had a delicious glass of a malbec I had been holding on since Christmas - (just realized that doesn't make it seem like long...but for us, it is - trust me, this is a check for the "win" column). I also am reserving the last half of my last glass of wine to sip on after the kiddos go to bed.

Then, I will be done for the day in my path of consumption and diet distruction. I plan to jog/walk in the morning which will set me up to be back on track.

Nighty, night! Let dreams of waterfall hikes, mountain climbing, and rowing in a quiet inlet on the bay fill your heads tonight.

Day 4 - Inspiration to keep going

I want so much for this to be a poignant post and believe my creative writing skills will fall short in describing how I feel right now. I want this to be an inspiration for change for everyone who reads it and I want it to be motivational for myself when I need it most. I truly want all of those things so I will do my best to convey the idea of just making up my mind.

"It was easy once I made up my mind to do it". Well, it is always easy when you have done that. Everything is easy. You make a choice and you don't look back. You make up your mind to go to school, buy a car, call a friend, order the fish instead of the burger. You make up your mind about the clothes you wear and the neighborhood you live in. Those are choices you make and they are done. Making up your mind to change your lifestyle is more complex. That is a decision you make and then you have to alter every decision in your life after that to comply with the new rules/restrictions/regulations, etc.

Once I made up my mind that I would eat better, eat less, exercise for purpose, and drink fewer of my calories, it has been *okay*. None of it is EASY. NOT ONE BIT OF IT!

I don't tend to embark on things simply because they are easy. A lot of things do come easy to me but I like to conquer mountains sometimes and create challenges for myself. Learning new things for the purpose of passing a test has been a recent series of mountains I have worked to conquer and that will continue. I also am focusing on some personal financial goals (savings goals are always exciting for me) so we can buy a new house, send the kids to college, and one day retire comfortably. All of this is fine a good: sharper mind with more knowledge and greater compensation opportunities - good; more money in the bank and becoming financially sound - good. All of this while carrying around an extra 25 pounds of fat and the lung capacity of an asthmatic - BAD!

What is the point of saving for the future and sharpening my brain if I wont be physically fit enough to enjoy any of it? Yes, I am aware that I could die of something else - right. I could also not die of something else and just be a big fat blob of an elderly person being pushed about by someone working for the weekend. No thanks!

I want to be that other woman. You know who I am talking about. The one who gets up early and rows her kayak in an inlet of the Bay. The one who makes her own granola and tends a garden because she can still get up from a kneeling position. I want to be the lady who teaches her grandchildren the same things she taught her own children.

Right now, I want to be the person who can run around a track - at least once - with out feeling like I will die. NBD...right? Ugh, this is such a first world problem! I am excited particularly today because, in spite of the fact that I didn't get up with the alarm, don my workout clothes and have my vigorous walk, I did stop at the park after dropping off Rhys at preschool and had a "coming to Jesus" meeting with myself.

There is a park with a football field and a paved track. It is a rural park so the track actually dips down behind one of the goal posts and has a decline and then incline back up the other side. It is good because, while there are flat areas, this little incline interval makes it challenging. My short-term goal is to run/jog around that track 1 lap by Valentine's day. I was able to do a little over half today and walked and jogged around it 5 times (which turns out to be a little over a mile). This is a big deal. I puffed and panted. Forced myself to keep up a pace for just a few more strides. Each time, I picked a destination and didn't allow myself to cheat. I heard the voices of friends and many cliche' lines play in my head encouraging me to keep going. Mind over body. I made up my mind. It was not easy.

Breakfast was Fiber Cereal with freeze dried peaches and half of a sliced banana

Post workout snack was sugar snap peas with hummus

Lunch was a wrap filled with a microwaved pre-seasoned frozen filet of some white fish (pretty tasty) with about 6 wasabi peas and a fistful of baby mixed greens. There wasn't enough flavor in this one but sometimes that just happens and we move on.

I had 5 pretzel M&Ms - don't hate me

I also had about 1/2 cup of freeze dried fruit

I made a big cup of half caf coffee and put a teaspoon of lowfat caramel apple dip (not a terrible choice)

I did 50 jumping jacks

I jumped rope 65 times

It is only 4:00 but I am going to go ahead and publish this. I will post a separate update with what pans out for food for today.

I will go ahead and tell you that a glass or two of wine is in the cards. I allow myself 2 adult bevvies on non-work nights...TGIF!

Day 3

This is the new breakfast:
Egg whites, broccoli, red onion, bell peppers, garlic, feta cheese. Whole wheat English muffin.

 

Lunch is a rendition of the Day 1 wrap with shrimp, cucumbers, laughing cow cheese spread, sriracha sauce, and organic mixed greens. Always in a Mission Carb Balance tortillas.

 

 

 

 

 

Snack is plain ff yogurt, chia seeds, raspberries and a drizzle of male syrup. All in less than 1 cup.

Hunger strikes in mid-afternoon so I have a bowl of cherry tomatoes, bell pepper strips, and sugar snap peas.

Dinner is the last of the leftover collards, an actual portion of flank steak and a giant portion of broccoli with a crumble of feta cheese and a 12oz glass of skim milk.

I end the day with some water and a plan to take a vigorous walk in the morning. I set my workout clothes and shoes at the bottom of the bed.